You're a good man who made a mistake. And I don't really give a damn what they say about the road to hell. You did what you did with the best intentions in a screwed up situation. The mistakes I made, most of them were made in cold blood. (Metaphorically speaking.) In my eyes, that edges you a whole lot closer to the nice end of the Commedia than I could ever hope to end up.
//Locked to Wesley//
All qualms about the afterlife aside for the moment, Cordelia is going to visit Angel's kid? Should I be following her, or is this okay? He wouldn't... try anything, would he?
*smile* Yeah. Still working on that trust thing. But I'm happy you're happy, Wes. So am I.
The road to hell *is* paved with the best intentions And sometimes the best intentions have the worse consequences. I am sorry they happened, but I know now I had very little choice. Doesn't mean I don't feel guilty about that.
And you may have made some bad choices too, Lindsey, you're trying now. Which is a whole hell of a lot sooner then say Angel and Spike. And even with a soul, you can make a lot of wrong choices, a soul doesn't equal good.
//Locked to Lindsey//
I am weary about this meeting, but more because it would be upsetting Cordelia. This, however, is where the trust part comes in. We have to trust her to make her own choices and... she does know how to kick his arse should that be needed.
Which it probably wont, he seems more adjusted then some of the rest. Errr...
I did tell Cordy to take her cell and *call* if she needed any help.
You'll get there. I know it's hard, I have to work on that myself still. And I am happy, it's a...strange feeling. But you're partly to blame for it. :-)
A little guilt is probably natural, long as you're not beating yourself up over it. Or brooding. *grin*
Better late than never, huh? (I'm not going to delude myself; I was very good at being an evil lawyer. You guys are a good influence on me.)
Don't even get me started on Angel. You know better than that.
//Locked to Wesley//
I trust her not to aim for his
arse ass if things turn ugly.
His parents are Angel and Darla... can you blame me for being nervous here?
Very good thinking. She'd better.
Your faith in me is completely unwarranted, you know that, right? It's also kind of nice. *laugh* Then I must be doing something right!
(Okay. It's been nearly half an hour and I'm starting to pace. Want to model those alleged swim trunks for me? *grin* We've got to see if they... fit properly, if we're going to this water park anytime soon.)
I'm...trying not to. It's an ongoing process I'm afraid. Baby steps and all. I do not brood.
Exactly. (I know, love. But as you can see from Cordelia and myself, even the so called 'white hats' aren't always good. I'd like to think we all influence each other in good ways)
I wouldn't dream of it
//Locked to Lindsey//
I trust them not to have to aim at all.
are you making fun of me?
Yes, I know. You never had the pleasure of meeting my parents
and lets keep it that way, but suffice to say that parents do not always the child make. Well, metaphorically speaking.
Is it? I have to disagree. Yes, you and Cordy are most assuredly doing something right.
(Pardon? What? They're swimming trunks and they...fit. Do you even have a pair?)
Wesley--I just said that to Connor. That sometimes the best of intentions have the worst consequences. The point? Is that even when it doesn't work out the way we hoped we keep trying. That's all we can do.
We got played, I agree. And if the Powers think I'm not pissed at everything they let happen they seriously have another thing coming but Connor--He's grown up and when I met with him... It wasn't as hard as I thought it would be. Still hurt like you wouldn't believe but I think it's okay. I'm okay. He's okay and that's more than I could have asked for.
I love you guys.
I doubt things with Connor and I would be smoothed over as well as between you and Connor. I send the boy to hell, he has every right to hate me for that, just like Angel does.
I've been rather naive into thinking Angel was to busy to talk to me and not consider that he... Well, it makes more sense now. Doesn't mean it's not smarting.
But I'll need to learn to get over it. I need to learn that he's not going to be my friend anymore, that I'll never get my fathers respect, that I'll never... and I will, because I have four other people who do care.
Thank you. I love you too. You and Lindsey and the girls.
Yeah, and he has every right to hate me for turning the whole of our little dysfunctional family against him and he doesn't. I'm not saying it'll all get smoothed over, Wes. There are some things that Connor and I will never agree on about this - not the way it happened or how it played out. But we got to talk and-- You know me. Share my pain gal. Well, most of the time.
Not consider that Angel what? You kinda lost me on that one.
As for Angel... I don't know what's round the corner, Wesley. I'm not exactly visioned out these days. But maybe... Maybe one day, all of this will change. Maybe we'll get back to being friends again - or not. Right now, all I'm concerned with is you guys. You, Lindsey, the kids and making sure that nothing else comes along to screw all this up. Right now, that's enough for me.
*smiles* Damn right you do.
Yes. I admire you for that trait. I wish I were the same, but I know I'm not and I'll never be. Things between Connor and I can't ever be close to 'okay'. I took away his childhood he has every right to hate me for that.
As does Angel. I see that now. I was a naive fool to believe him when he told me he understood and we were okay now. We're not and we'll never be. I'll just have to come to terms with that, I can see that now. I'll miss his friendship of course, but I need to move on.
Maybe you and he can, but he and I can't ever be again. And I'm okay with that, or I will be. I still have you and Lindsey and the girls and my other friends. There's no need to be concerned for us, we're doing fine and I'm going to make damn sure we keep on doing fine.
::Smile:: I couldn't not love you even if I tried. Oh dear, I'm turning into a sap. Next thing I know my allergies will be back to haunt me.
Spend five years with me and I'll have you spanking inner moppets all over the place. That or having those conversations like I used to have with Angel where I did all the talking. I actually kind of miss those. *smiles a little*
Wesley, there were a whole mess of things going on back then. I was off getting comshukked to three corners of Mexico and bleaching my hair while back home everything was falling apart. I can't tell you to get over this because what happened is not something I'm ever gonna get over either. I'm just hoping it gets easier one day. For all of us.
And never say never, Dork Boy. Remember our first kiss? I swore I'd never be locking lips with you again and if I had a quarter for every time I'd done it since then--Well, you get what I'm saying, right?
*laughs* You, a sap? Nahhhh. Though I kinda miss your allergies. Has Lindsey seen them yet or have you been allergy free?
Oh, but I have spend five years with you, my dear. And we had entire conversations where you talked and I didn't say anything back. Mostly because I was drinking tea and amused myself with watching you rant, but still.
I know. And I wasn't part of most of that mess, but I was the cause. I will never forget that, but I need to move on. And that's what I'm trying to do here. Moving on comes with a cost of having to let go of things you'd rather not, just as trying to do the right thing comes with a high price. It'll get easier, I promise. We still have each other and that's worth a whole damn lot if not everything.
No, Cordelia. I have to stop fooling myself where he is concerned. He avoids me at all costs, doesn't talk to me, he couldn't be more clear with his signals. Which is rather amazing for Angel. It's okay, I hope he's happy, just not to happy. And uhm, I'd like to say when I came to Los Angeles would be the first time I kissed you. That other one, definitely not a kiss.
Uh. N-no he hasn't. As of yet. I'm afraid Alicia and Marilee have though. That was embarrassing enough. And since you say I'm not sappy? I love you, I just thought I'd throw it in there in case I'd not said that yet today.